Lessons From the Year

As the curtain closes on another year, I cannot help but reflect back on this past year and all of the experiences that have led to lessons learned. There is growth nestled within those moments, like a life blood that courses through the veins of life. The end of the year always brings about nostalgia for me, cravings for what once was and for what could or should have been. I try to not be disappointed by where I finished in the race and instead be honored that I was allowed to participate. So what lessons did this year bring for me?

1) It is okay to not be okay. I have always been a pretty optimistic person, almost to a fault. There were moments in this past year where parts of me cracked and opened up wide, revealing what lie within. The parts of me that used to hide in the shadows were forced into the spotlight to be dealt with once and for all. I sat in that pain, allowing it to overwhelm me like a surging wave of emotion, washing away the broken branches that were no longer needed. I witnessed them floating by like existential driftwood, and I was at peace with that. I realized that it was okay to be a complete fucking mess, and I owned that shit.

2) Sometimes you just have to let go of people that no longer have a seat at the table. Some people are meant to be in your lives for brief moments, others for decades, and others not at all. It is okay to require a reservation. It is also okay to remove a chair from the table. There were some people who left my life this past year who I thought would always be there. I tried like hell to hold until the "security blanket" of friendships that had been unraveling for years until they were left to exist as mere threads. This year taught me to just let them go, and to use the threads to sew them into the quilt of my past, honoring their beauty, while also freeing up a "square" for new people in my life.

3) Know who you are and who you're not. This past year, more than any year before it, brought so much clarity into who I have been and who I want to be moving forward. It took me a long time to realize that I did not have to "fake it until I make it". I can be who I want to be, right now, not later when conditions are a "self-proclaimed" level of perfect. I found my voice again this year, that part of me that says what I think, what I feel, and what I need, right now in this very moment. I won't settle for less anymore. I continue to release and shed all of the parts of me that I have outgrown, allowing a fresh new skin to grow, cell by cell, moment by moment.

4) Hope does not have to be linear. It can be a beautiful hot mess of colors and detours, pulling you off of the path, but always leading you home to the seat of your soul. It is okay to put conditions on your hope, as long as you realize that those conditions are just temporary roadblocks and not sinkholes. Always hope for a better tomorrow, but don't lose sight of the lessons of today. Allow life to surprise you in beautiful and unexpected ways because sometimes you don't know what to hope for, and you miss out on something that you did not even know you needed.

5) Try new things always. The quickest path to growth is putting yourself out there nakedly into the world without a thought for the consequence. Sometimes you just have to flipping go for it. I was nervous to start this blog at the beginning of the year. When I first began, all of the saboteurs in my mind rallied up like a defensive line ready to block any forward movement. I wondered if anyone even cared what I had to say. Then, something happened. I posted my first entry. The world did not implode. It felt great to be vulnerable and to show people the inner parts of me. It did not matter any longer what they thought because I found comfort in just exposing the words that were suddenly spilling out of me. I realized that this was for me, as a way for me to heal, to grow, and to move forward. Being a little self-indulgent for once felt pretty damn awesome. I recommend the same for each person reading this. Do something that scares the hell out of you. Do it, and see how you feel afterwards.

So, let the curtain close on this year. I am feeling pretty great about where I am in this moment. It's not the perfect parking spot for the end of the year, but it is still close enough to get me to where I need to go. I am perfectly imperfect, and so are you. So, go be you, you gorgeous unicorn you.

Goodbye 2021. Thank you for the lessons learned.

Peace, love, and creativity,

Matchmaker Lisa Maria